I Am Excited About Baseball

Five World Series Match-Ups Joel Would Like to See (In Order of Descending Plausibility):

1) Boston Red Sox (25-22) vs San Francisco Giants (27-19): In 107 years, the Giants and the Red Sox have met each other exactly once in the World Series: In 1912, a 4-3-1 win for the Red Sox, marked by the great pitching of Smoky Joe Wood and an exciting 10th inning win by the Red Sox in Game 8 of the series. A match-up this year would pit the reigning NL champ against one of the most popular franchises in all of baseball, and the champions from 2004 and 2007. Also, it would highlight two awesome cities, and would be the ultimate anti-NY-LA World Series.

2) Cleveland Indians (30-15) vs Cincinnati Reds (25-23): I keep waiting for the Indians to fall apart, but it's the end of May now and and they are at a .667 winning percentage and have a 7 game lead in the division, by far the largest in baseball. Meanwhile, Cincinnati benefits from both awesome hitting and awesome pitching. And can you say "Battle of Ohio"? Or how about, "first Cleveland championship in 64 years"?

3) Tampa Bay Rays (26-22) vs Florida Marlins (26-19): I don't really know why neither of these teams have really been able to catch on with their respective fan bases. The Marlins have championships in 1997 and 2003, and Tampa Bay losing one in 2008. Combined, these teams have made the state of Florida one of the most successful in the country over the course of the past 15 years. But then, how come nobody ever comes to their games? Maybe this World Series match-up will teach everyone to love the Rays and the Marlins. More likely it will lead to record low TV ratings and mass rioting and looting along the eastern seaboard.

4) Seattle Mariners (23-24) vs Milwaukee Brewers (25-23): With the Texas Rangers' winning of the AL pennant last year, Seattle is now the only AL team never to make it to the World Series. (The Washington Nationals are the only NL team never to do so.) Milwaukee, meanwhile, used to be from Seattle, until 1969, as the Seattle Pilots, and used to play in the American League, until 1997. Also, Milwaukee has only been to the World Series once, in 1982, when they lost to the St. Louis Cardinals. So this would just be fun.

5) Chicago White Sox (22-27) vs Chicago Cubs (20-25): This would be a stupid and boring World Series between two stupid and boring teams.

The End.

Sports are Weird

1) The World Series no one saw coming starts tonight. And, suddenly, San Francisco is a baseball town. And even though it's clear that the NY Times is only sad that the Bronx Bombers aren't in it - even opening their Series preview with that sentiment - they do have a point. I mean, I'm pulling for the Giants. But I must say, I have way more Facebook friends who are Giants fans this week than I did last week.

2) The Miami Heat lost their season opener to Boston last night, 88-80. More importantly, however, Portland beat the Phoenix Suns, 106-92, and are undefeated for the season. Go Blazers!

3) Tennessee coach and crazy person Derek Dooley is in a bit of trouble over the following quote explaining his exasperation with his team's struggles:

"Right now we're like the Germans in World War II. Here comes the boats, they're coming. You have the binoculars, and it's like, 'Oh, my God, the invasion is coming.' That's what they did, they were in the bunkers. It's coming, they call Rommel -- they can't find Rommel. (Pretending to speak into a radio.) 'What do we do? I'm not doing anything until I get orders.' (Pretends to look through binoculars.) 'Have you gotten Rommel yet?'"

He continued: "I don't want the German people to get upset at me. I'm not attacking them, but that's what happened. You had one group, they weren't worried about what the plan was and orders and all that. When the war hits, things change. You've got to go. "

A few observations: A) I love that he pantomimes speaking into a radio and looking through binoculars. B) I love how in his analogy his own team is the Wermacht. C) I love how he realizes that he may have said something inappropriate, and then makes his apology to the Germans. D) Can anyone honestly criticize him when perhaps the most popular play in all of American Football is called the "blitz"?