Basketball News

Kirby knows how much I hate Allen Iverson. Well, I hate him a little less now. There is something a little sad about him being exiled to Turkey to finish his career. On the other hand, there is some just desserts to it, because he is only the worst player in the history of both baskets and balls. Seriously.

I shouldn't have mentioned Greg Oden the other day. He is going to have microfracture knee surgery this week, and will be out for the entire season. Again. So who is the best center ever for the Trail Blazers? Most people would probably say Bill Walton. I've always been a big fan of Arvydas Sabonis. (And Lithuania, in general.) But you know who was really terrible? Chris Dudley.

Someone I don't feel sorry for is Tony Parker. He's divorcing Eva Longoria. But that doesn't change the fact that he's a millionaire and that the Spurs keep winning. Or that I have to explain to Robyn that, no, she isn't actually playing for Tampa Bay.

Liveblogging: Heat versus Suns

6:12 pm - You know what I hate about the Lakers? The fact that nobody shows up to the game on time. Having said that, why the F are the stands two-thirds empty to see the Greatest Team Ever Assembled? (Shame on you, Miami.) And with Steve Nash, there are, I believe, three MVPs on the court right now. Or has Wade only won Finals MVP?

6:34 pm - Phoenix 22, Miami 21. The Suns still have a lot of good players on their team. In addition to Nash, they have Channing Frye, Hedo Turkoglu, and Grant Hill. Maybe it's an old team, but there's still a whole lot of talent on that team.

6:38 pm - Miami 27, Phoenix 24, end of the 1st quarter. Chris Bosh leads Miami with 14 points; is it just me, or has he been the only member of the Heat who has been bringing it every night so far? Also, I don't get those Adidas ads with the annoying little Chinese dude. Those shoes don't make him better at basketball.

Why is the MLS Cup between Colorado and Dallas being played in Toronto?

6:49 pm - Miami 35, Phoenix 29 - Miami has gone on a little bit of a run here with James on the bench. Has anyone ever considered actually playing with either Wade or James coming off the bench?

Wait - Juwan Howard is playing for the Heat? Maybe I want them to win a championship now...

7:01 pm Oooh! Dinner! No time for blogging...

Sports are Weird

1) The World Series no one saw coming starts tonight. And, suddenly, San Francisco is a baseball town. And even though it's clear that the NY Times is only sad that the Bronx Bombers aren't in it - even opening their Series preview with that sentiment - they do have a point. I mean, I'm pulling for the Giants. But I must say, I have way more Facebook friends who are Giants fans this week than I did last week.

2) The Miami Heat lost their season opener to Boston last night, 88-80. More importantly, however, Portland beat the Phoenix Suns, 106-92, and are undefeated for the season. Go Blazers!

3) Tennessee coach and crazy person Derek Dooley is in a bit of trouble over the following quote explaining his exasperation with his team's struggles:

"Right now we're like the Germans in World War II. Here comes the boats, they're coming. You have the binoculars, and it's like, 'Oh, my God, the invasion is coming.' That's what they did, they were in the bunkers. It's coming, they call Rommel -- they can't find Rommel. (Pretending to speak into a radio.) 'What do we do? I'm not doing anything until I get orders.' (Pretends to look through binoculars.) 'Have you gotten Rommel yet?'"

He continued: "I don't want the German people to get upset at me. I'm not attacking them, but that's what happened. You had one group, they weren't worried about what the plan was and orders and all that. When the war hits, things change. You've got to go. "

A few observations: A) I love that he pantomimes speaking into a radio and looking through binoculars. B) I love how in his analogy his own team is the Wermacht. C) I love how he realizes that he may have said something inappropriate, and then makes his apology to the Germans. D) Can anyone honestly criticize him when perhaps the most popular play in all of American Football is called the "blitz"?